Remembering to Start Fresh

In the Lutheran tradition, when children are baptized, the parents or sponsors are given a candle to light and remember the child's baptism each year.  The tricky part is that lighting a candle in a house with a newborn through about 20 years old is not easy.

How can we remember our children's baptismal anniversaries as well as any other children or adults that we have sponsored?  What about your own?

The first thing to do is to decide why we are marking this date. When your baby is first baptized, that item on your 'to-do' can get rolled in to all the other things we strive to do as parents.  We want to be the parent we always imagined we would be: responsible, raising our child faithfully, attending to all the details of taking care of a child's spiritual well-being.  To me, just merely reminding myself that I am a "child of God" felt elitist, like my baptism sets me apart from the non-baptized (though I know this is not the original intent) and I do not personally believe that this is true.  My heart and core believes believe that every child is special, and every child is God's creation, loved by God.  So what am I celebrating when I light that candle (if indeed I remember and accomplish getting it lit).  

Pastor Mike, of Holy Spirit Lutheran Church in Kirkland says that we remember our baptism and the baptisms of those that we love and sponsor, by starting fresh.  In the baptism service, we say that we die to sin and are made new, and water reminds us of this blessing.  

I don't know about you, but I could sure use a fresh start sometimes.  With my husband, with my kids, with my Godchildren, with myself.  As a parent and as a bellwether of attitude and response for my family, I fall short of my expectations all the time.  Not just because they are sky-high and un-reachable, though that is the same problem I encounter with living as a child of God.  Note that I never fall short of God's expectations though.  She is the gossamer hand you almost can't feel, soothing you after you've reprimanded yourself for the 100th time for not being a good enough parent.  She is the one waking you with a kiss in the morning through your children who never noticed that Christmas wasn't anything to "pin" about this year.  She is the one teaching you to be a parent constantly by being like a parent to you in showing us her unconditional love. 

Take one day of this year and celebrate the fresh start of God's unconditional love with water and light.  Light candles at dinner, or simply turn the lights on and be thankful that you can do so.  If your children are little, give them a bath, or chat with them while they are in the tub if they like to do so.  Go to a waterpark together as a family, or just turn on the sprinkler in the front yard if it is summer.  When you do these things, remember to start over. 

If you've been struggling with an overly-curious 1 year old, an argumentative 4 year old, a withdrawn 8 year old or an unpredictable teenager, use this moment to start fresh.  They will sense it in you.  If you have sponsored people and forgotten to send that baptism card in the mail every year or whatever you imagined yourself doing, start fresh.  Don't even wait for their baptism, contact them now to let them know you're thinking of them.  Take them out for frozen yogurt or send them an awesome book you love or just send them a letter or email. Use your language that you are comfortable using to tell them "I love you and I am thinking about you".

You can roll all these baptisms you want to remember into one day if you want.  Make it Baptism Day.  I recommend a day in the summer where you can work sprinklers or watering the garden into it, but you can also tour Christmas lights in your neighborhood or use your traditional Advent candles instead of lighting the one 'official' candle (one of my kids' candles is broken) that lies somewhere in a box at home.  Get out and experience the starting over-ness that God has planned for you.  Renew those relationships and renew yourself.  You are not the you of yesterday.  Start over.

Starting fresh: I can get on board with that.