We Thank God by Sharing

In November, we will be talking about ways that we can thank God.  There are many ways, of course, but we will be focusing this month on thanking God by sharing, thanking God by helping and thanking God by loving and spending time with God (praying). 

Another way we can thank God, share and help is by donating food to those that have less.  In particular, this month we are focusing on donating food to other babies and toddlers.  We are having a baby food drive during the month of November!  You can bring your donation in to class or to the Hopelink box in the Fellowship Hall.

Our church has partnered with Hopelink on other donation projects and Hopelink has a food bank in our area, as well as others around the eastside that helps homeless and low-income families, children, seniors and those with disabilities.  Next time you are at the store, whether you are a local mustard seed or not, you can buy some baby food - whatever's on sale or if you have a toddler, let THEM pick the kinds and flavors.  Talk to your infant or toddler about what you're doing - even if they seem like they don't understand - and keep it simple.  Then, you can either donate your baby food (or diapers, or wipes, or formula - if you get the formula samples in the mail and don't use them) when you come to church next or if you aren't able to make it to church, there is a food bank bin at the front of almost every grocery store and you can put it in there.  The point is that you're helping and your little one is watching you or helping too and gets to participate in helping others. 

In class, we talked about thanking God by sharing!  One story from the bible that talks about this is the boy who shared his lunch with all the thousands of people that came to hear Jesus.  We read This is the Lunch that Jesus Served, which followed the same pattern as the story "the House that Jack Built", so it was fun to read and have everyone chime in on "Jesus Served" each time.

Our parent question was 'what are some ways that you have shared with others that your child has been able to witness"  There are a ton of ways that we share, but some of the answers focused on bringing meals to those that are homebound, giving offering, and giving to food drives.

Our sensory bin this month doesn't have to do with out theme.  My girls and I collected leaves (and we had two mini-pumpkins on hand) and since we collected them from the side of the road (but a clean area : )  I had my two year old and I wash them (my 6 year old was busy at the art table with her leaf-bounty).  Even though it seems silly and over-protective, I remember when I was a parent for the first time and some of my friends and I would have felt it was unnecessary, but appreciated.  The point in telling you this, really, was that as my two-year old washed each of God's leaves in our silver baking bowl, it got me thinking about taking care of the earth and in the minutiae of washing each leaf I remembered how God cares for even the smallest sparrow and how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  

Then we laid the leaves out to dry for the next day's sensory bin...

...where they were promptly put into little mouths, so I am glad I washed them after all! : )

Lastly, our art project was coloring "baskets" to put our "loaves" and "fishes" into.  That's a lot of quotation marks, but here's what I mean:

A fun time was had by all! 

See you next Sunday where we will talk about thanking God by helping and the story of Miriam and Moses!  Thanks to all of you who have already donated to the baby food drive!
 - Ruth

Planting the Seeds of Promise

Today we talked about Noah, after the flood.  The Bible, doesn't only talk about saving the animals and Noah's family, The story also mentions saving the plants of the earth by taking seeds with them as well, though it doesn't necessarily mention who does that work.  (foreshadowing for our story of the week) 

It's also Reformation Sunday - the Sunday that Lutherans celebrate Martin Luther posting the 95 theses to the church door and inspiring change.  Likewise, our parent topic was about things that you would like to do differently raising your kids from the experiences you had growing up. Some people didn't have anything they would change and that is great!  Sometimes, with a loving understanding of the choices your parents made, you may have some ideas, as well as the benefit of hindsight and experience, on how you would approach things differently with raising your children.  Great answers from everyone.

Back to Noah!

Today, we did a bunch of singing about rainbows and animals (I don't post all of the songs here because I don't always have the original source handy to cite) and then read a great board book called: Naamah Noah's Wife by Sandy Eisenberg Sasso.  There is a longer, hardback storybook version of this for older kids, but we read the board book, which is shorter, but still well-written and appropriate for our class.  This story imagines Noah's wife, Naamah doing the work of saving all the seeds of the earth - storing them in an apron full of pockets and then planting them after the flood. 

Then, we made playdough mandalas and planted seeds, sticks, moss, leaves and other found objects into some homemade playdough, which was scented with essential oil (the oil was an Aveda peppermint stress oil that I had left over from my days in the paid work force.  To me, it smells like work.  To everyone else, just a nice minty-smell ; )  Here's my 2-year-old with hers and one other student's:

 

The playdough recipe was a no-cook version, which you can find Here.  There are also probably every other playdough recipe you can think of on that site.  I like the no-cook recipe (instead of cooking it in a saucepan, you pour boiling water into it, which "cooks" it) but it seems a bit crumbly at first.  Once you work it in your hands a bit, it is just fine - just like regular playdough.  Perfect for our mandalas.  The kiddos stuck nature pieces into their dough, after molding it to the shape they want and I provided wax paper to take it home and let it dry.  The 'under 1-year-olds' were happy just feeling and smelling the dough, assisted closely by their parents. 

Here are a few of our finished mandalas:

It's kind of funny to talk about planting in the fall, but so far in Mustard Seeds, we've planted some great ideas, stories and experiences in the kiddos minds and hearts.  I think we've also planted a community for the parents and that's something that is good for everyone.  



Still Talking about Noah: Rainbow Party!

October's topic at Mustard Seeds is Noah and one thing I've been waiting to do is a Rainbow Party!! 

Since we've been talking about 'trusting in God's rainbows', our parent discussion topic was: 'Talk about a situation where you had to trust, but it was hard'.  All our parents had great input on this question. 

Since this was a bit more of an involved topic, I let the kids have fun with paint while we talked about our topic.  That's right.  We had fun with paint.  On a Sunday morning at church.  Here's how:  I took paper, glopped two colors of paint on the paper, put it in a Ziploc bag (letting the air mostly out), zipped it and then taped the zipped opening shut.  the kids had fun using their hands to mix the two colors into three and playing with paint.  Of course this mess-free project isn't foolproof.  Kids are so smart and you never know who will figure out how to open the tape, but the parents were right there with the kids and *this* year, we had no problems (I've done this a few times and each time has ended well).  The sensory elements of painting with real paint (painting with a brush, finger painting with pudding or paint, etc.) is awesome.  Just...not necessarily on a Sunday morning when they're all dressed up : D 
Here are some of the masterpieces:

 

Then, when you're at home, you can take the painting out of the bag, throw the bag away and let it dry.  I think the kids loved making their rainbow paintings!

The kids also got to eat rainbow goldfish

 And ended the class with dancing and rainbow wrist ribbons.  I "lead" them in a few easy motions that the parents followed or helped their little ones' arms follow or the toddlers followed along (each with their own style) as we listened to a CD from Augsburg's Splash! resources.  I really like their choice of songs and the way the music is played and sung. 

After the kids left, my 2-year-old put one wrist ribbon of each color on her wrists (they are wrist ribbons from Lakeshore) and danced while I cleaned up.  We'll have to use them again soon! 

 

Animals & Building

Last Sunday, we talked about Noah through the topics of animals and building!  I brought in some wood blocks from home for the kiddos to build with (or just put in their mouth : )  and we continued to play with the animal sensory bin - which is comprised of tons of Fisher Price's Little People animals, a few animal finger puppets and a Noah stuffed plushie I had on hand.

Our art project this week was making an ark that can hold animal crackers or vanilla puffs (which look a bit like vague animal shapes - sheep perhaps...) depending on the food stage of the child or preference.  On the one side, it was colored like an ark (see my 2-year-old's version) with an ark-topper-shape glue-sticked to the top.  The boat part is made of a paper plate I cut in half and stapled on the rounded edge.  I prepped this part beforehand and cut out the ark topper shapes.

When you turn the ark upside down (without cookies in it), the other side is a rainbow.  My 2-year-old didn't draw one, but my visiting 6 year old drew one and many of the parents did for their little ones as well, commenting on the different colors.

 

The book we read last week was Drip Drop by Mary Manz Simon.  This book was actually a reading book for beginning readers that I found in our church library.  Easy-reader level books are great for reading to our toddlers as well!  They are usually short with lots of pictures and a fun way to read differently-cadenced books to our little ones.  Drip Drop was fun to read with the kiddos in class because of the “Hurry Noah Hurry” refrain that the parents got to say and pattering our laps during the ‘drip drop’ part.  An extra treat for me, was finding out later that it was written by Mary Manz Simon, who is also the author of Little Visits for Toddlers, an activity devotional, specifically for toddlers that I have used at Mustard Seeds and with my kiddos.

Tomorrow is Sunday and we will be having a Rainbow Party!!  I know a few toddlers who have been looking forward to more dancing and I have our rainbow wrist ribbons all ready to go!  More to come after tomorrow!



Noah: Trusting in God's Rainbows

This week we started our October theme which is the story of Noah.  There are many great stories in the Bible to share with your little one, so we are starting the year off with Noah for a few reasons: 1.) Many of our little ones may have received something Noah-ish or ark-ish when they were born and 2.) Who doesn't love Animals & Rainbows!

We have also added a Bible verse to "memorize" in sign language - which is a language that many of our parents are already communicating with their little ones.  Our Bible verse is "Praise the Lord" from Psalm 150:1.  We sign it by holding our palms out in front of our head and shaking our hands ("praise") and then making an 'L' with our right hand, placing it on our left shoulder and then tracing it across our body to our right hip - sort of like you're putting on a seat belt (the grown-up kind.  Dont' try signing a 5-point harness : )  ("Lord")  We practiced it many times during the class and it was fun to do!

Our craft this week was making a stick puppet of rain clouds on one side and a rainbow on the other, glue-sticked to a foam stick (I used these instead of Popsicle sticks, even though they were floppy, because they seemed a bit safer, but primarily because I saw them in the $1 bin at Target : )

Here is the rain side:

And here is the rainbow side!:

 

We used our 'puppets' when we sang songs today about rainbows and rain and Noah.
Our parent topic was to talk about what our favorite Bibles stories or other stories that have fed us spiritually in our lives.  The responses ranged from Loaves and fishes to Job to Miriam and baby  Moses.  All our parents have their own special way to share their favorite Bible story - and what it means to them - with their little ones.  This parent topic was to get their thoughts flowing on how they want to do it.

We read "The Beginner's Bible: Noah and the Ark" - a board book by Kelly Pulley published by Zonderkidz.  I chose it because it was a simple but well-written retelling of the story with simple illustrations.  The Beginner's Bible publishes many early readers and a toddler bible with a latch and a handle that they can carry around (as you may know, toddlers love to carry things around).  During this month, we will read many more re-tellings of this story from different perspectives, so this is just one of many.

That's is for this week!
Blessings,
Ruth Hanley of Mustard Seeds

This is my Church/Spiritual Family

We wrapped up the month of September talking about what a 'spiritual family' or 'church family' is.  This can be whoever you consider part of your child's spiritual development or influence: pastors, godparents, family, church members, nursery workers, friends at church, a special greeter, even a seeing-eye-dog in training can teach your child much and they can be part of the congregation in a special way during their training. 

We had two crafts this week: One was a candle (battery-operated, from the dollar store, so it...you know...fit in our budget and was safe around the little ones ; ) and all the parents at Mustard Seeds added their name and their chileren's names to the candle on post-it flags.

We also attached circle labels to baby spoons and put names or faces on them (the intent is that if you want, you can attach pictures when you get home) of people in your child's spiritual family.  You can take the spoons out of the paper cup and talk about who that person is and how much they love your child, sing a song about it, pray with your child for that person or even pretend that the person is talking to your child (example that I would do, in a funny muppet voice, "Hi, I'm grandma.  How are you today?"  Just to have fun with it.)

Also, I bought a blank puzzle and all the mustard seeds kiddos (that were able) and parents colored on it.  At the end, we each took a piece away from it and what was left over, I plan to frame and write 'Mustard Seeds 2012-2013' on it for our room.

We had a lot of crafts this week!

We read "Church is a Special Place" by Daphna Flegal, published by Abingdon Press

Our parent question was: What are your favorite ways to spend time as a family?  What are some fun outings that you have gone on or would like to? We got many ideas of places to take our little ones.

A church family is an important part of your child's spiritual development and is made up of many people.  It's good for you as well as you little one to think about and pray for those that are in yours!

This Little Light of Mine

This month, our topic at Mustard Seeds is This Little Light of Mine.  You may remember the song from olden Sunday school days or just in our song culture - I've heard it so many places, I don't always remember where.  Each one of us is a bright light, lit by the Holy Spirit and capable of lighting up all the dark places in this world.  It is obvious to us parents in our adorable, kind, wonderful children, but sometimes we don't take the time to see it in ourselves.  We as parents are giving, nurturing, intelligent and loving.  Even if we aren't always perfect.  You are a light in this world as well.  Lit by the Holy Spirit and capable of great things. 

This last Sunday was our first 'official' meeting and let me say, it was so great to see all the kids all together!  They were so busy exploring and playing and the parents were able to talk about what qualities they want to inspire to their kids: curiosity, love of music, tenacity, etc. as well as our 'highs & lows' of the week.

Here are some pictures of the kids playing with our light table, in celebration of 'this little light of mine'

It's made of a storage box (obviously : )  with Christmas lights inside and kiddie 'take n toss' lids on the top.

The "stained glass window" blocks were a big hit too!

The story we read today was about how God asked the animals for advice on what humans should be like and the animals offered all kinds of advice (the Lion wants them to be brave, the lamb wants them to be gentle and the shark advises they should have good appetites : )  This book was called, "How Did the Animals Help God?" by Nancy Sohn Swartz. 

The Craft we did was to celebrate our little ones by writing what qualities we see in them on foam handprints (and their name).  We made one to keep at Sunday School to put on the wall so that the kids can see their picture when they come to the room and one to take home.  I look so serious because I'm trying to do my *best* handwriting - My handwriting is pretty sloppy ; )

I can't wait to see you - "old" and new faces next week!  We will be talking about family and what that means and how special it is that we have people around us that love us very much!

Mustard Seeds Open House

Our open house was great – thanks to all of you who stopped by to see the classroom and meet everyone!  For those of you that didn’t get a chance to stop in, here are some pictures of our room!

When the kids first come in, they will get some playtime - they can play with our 'play church' area, which, fortuitously had a small altar that we can use each week!

There are felt communion wafers (my 2 year old has already powdered her face with them), a "chalice" (fancy wooden egg cup), a stole, cross,  a*flameless* candle, a kids Bible and a bowl with a wet cloth in it.  They can feel free to touch and feel and play with anything on it!   You can take items down and show it to your infants as well. 

Also, we have the letters MUSTARD SEED in tactile materials, which you can play with, mix up and let your little one crawl over and feel the different textures

 

We also have stained-glass blocks (wooden frames with colored plastic inserts, so they can be chewed on, etc.) and a sensory bin - I am hoping to have a light table up this Sunday.

Then, after we gather and play and the parents have time to talk about a parent-topic, we'll gather in the middle of the room for songs and stories.  September's theme is "This Little Light of Mine" and we'll be introducing ourselves, our families and finding out who and what a church family is.

 

Lastly, we will do a craft - It will be simple enough that you can do it with your toddler or that you can do it for your infant and then show it to them and/or interact with them with it.

 

Then we'll close with prayer and a hand-stamp (always a favorite!)

Can't wait to see you this Sunday at 9:00am!

Here are some more pictures of our room:

Posters: "God's world is a playground" "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed..." "The Lord is my strength and my song"

Prayer Request Board: If you have a prayer request, you can post it here.  if you want to add others to your prayer list, check here. 

 

There's lots more, so come and check us out!  I'll post more after our first Mustard Seeds class.  See you then!

Blessings,
Ruth Hanley

Welcome to another year of Mustard Seeds!

The nights are getting darker earlier and all the school-aged kids are boarding busses and heading off to school.  The night air wafts of pencil shavings, apples and lawns that are browning in the sun’s last efforts to make an significant impact.  At this time, parents can be overwhelmed by too many activities starting up.  Stay-at-home parents and paid-workforce parents alike may feel isolated.  Mustard Seeds Family Sunday School (and this blog) is a way to reach out and make create a community of parents of the youngest children among us.  The time of infancy and toddlerhood is one of angelic nap tableaus as well as shockingly powerful meltdowns.  It may be a time for you of no sleep, falling asleep or insomnia while you wait for them to wake up in the middle of the night (in which case they never do).  Such varied experiences and so much work for anticipating the needs of these pre-verbal , barely-verbal or ‘how did (s)he get so darn verbal all of a sudden’ infants and toddlers.  However, one thing we do know is that the ages of 0-3 are some of the most impactful times for brain-developmental in a child’s life.  This just means that some of your rituals and traditions that you have established or will establish are becoming a part of their fabric of who your little one is: church, snuggle time, reading time, bathtime, vacations, visiting family…the list is endless.  There are so many great ways to reach out and speak to your little one in a language that resonates with them.  The mere sound of your voice is the most powerful influence.  Also, there are sensory activities where they can feel, smell, taste, see and hear.   In Mustard Seeds this year, we will have many activities that speak to this sensory language and give you ideas for developing faith rituals in your family, but only you and your family know what works best for your little unit.

I will post some pictures of our Open House this Sunday and I hope to see you there!

Praying Lessons From a 5-Year-Old

Part of my role as parent of my young daughters is teaching them about prayer.  This is what I chose to do when I chose to have my girls baptized and I do not begrudge every individual parent to make their own choice to do or not do this for themselves and their own unique family.  That said, when faced with the task, I actually took on the role of “prayer-teacher” quite hesitantly.  It is one thing to promise to do it – it is quite another to figure out where to jump in.

 It also makes you analyze your own childhood go-to prayer.  Mine was this:

Now I lay me down to sleep

(you know this one already, don’t you?  Not very original, I know…)

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep

If I should die (gasp!) before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take

If I should live another day (what do you mean IF??)

I pray the Lord to guide the way.

I’ve modified this prayer for my daughter because otherwise it’s too creepy and I don’t believe it is the best use of a child’s time to contemplate and worry about their own mortality in the scary monster-filled darkness like I used to.   Here’s the version I say with my daughter every night in bed

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

Let angels guide me through the night

And wake me with the morning light

Then I ask her who she wants to ask God to bless tonight and what she would like to thank God for and if there was anything else she wants to pray about.  This is the part, however, where I get to learn from her. 

I always thought that teaching your child to pray was a one-way street – my Yoda to her young Jedi (apologies to high school and college boyfriends for mixing two religions in that metaphor).  However, in handing down my childhood prayer as a benign starting point, she takes that framework into her child-wisdom and spins it into poetry.  I’m pretty sure God gathers the angels around an as if there is an old-timey radio show on whenever it’s a child’s prayer time.  In fact, when I lame out & forget to do a prayer with my daughter, I’m sure I can hear a resounding ‘Awwww, man!’ from above.  My daughter has a spiritual gift of prayer that I can see clearly and I look forward to encouraging it (mostly by getting out of the way) all her life.  

Here are some of the lessons I have been lucky enough to learn from her:

·         Sometimes your prayer has just gotta be sung

Of course we sing prayers at church and at gatherings all the time, but none of them are like her random-melody’d high-voiced, angel-ish offerings to God of all that is on her mind at the time.

·         Don’t forget to pray for yourself

At the end of her prayers, My daughter always says: “And also, please especially bless – really blessy-bless BLESS…MY-SELF.”  Of course, once we become adults, it is age-appropriate to be a little less narcissistic in the emphasis, right?  But she really loves herself.  And why shouldn’t she?  She’s fabulous!  God is in her.  And God is just as “in” all of us.

·         Don’t be shy about blessing God

I’m sure God appreciates it amid the 24/7 sea of special requests from everyone in the whole universe.   I picture God zapping God’s self in the face with the same blessing God has been dispensing for eons, nonstop, but, like the sprinkle of water in baptism, it feels refreshing and renewing and God smiles a little tender smile down at her in our little bed.

·         You don’t always have to be right

Many times, my daughter’s prayers are an inventory of all her toys, and I cringe.  “Please bless my stuffie, Pookie, my barbies, my American girl doll, my dollhouse, my bike…” etc. etc.  She doesn’t realize that it’s not the “correct” thing to pray for, but who is to say what is correct?  Every time she starts blessing all of her things, I blush in the dark, ashamed when I think of all the things that she has – all the crap that we buy that we don’t need when so any others are truly needy – how lucky we are and how spoiled we are by not being able to see it – and it motivates me to back off from the Target blitzkrieg for a while and keep things in perspective.  Give a little more offering (to church or other organizations) in lieu of our *blush* first-world Starbucks habit.

·         You don’t always have to understand what you are praying for

Once, my daughter prayed for Tent City.  We had just delivered care packages to a community of folks who live in tents and move their encampment from location to location – usually on church properties that give permission.  Most of the residents have jobs.  I assume that none of them can afford housing. It is January and the wind, the rain and the snow and other crazy weather is frequent.   My daughter prayed that the people of Tent City would all find homes because they didn’t have a house to stay in while they are waiting to find their houses, like when we stayed at Grandma & Grandpa’s house when we were looking.  Processing that new information in a way she could understand and then praying about it, even though she didn’t fully understand it is honest.  I pray for Tent City from the point of view of understanding what is going on for them, when I am totally wrong to think I have the answers.

·         Be lavish with your blessings

She prays for God to bless “everyone in the whooooole wide world”.  Indeed, dear child.  Indeed.

…And from my 2-year old:

·         Sometimes just holding the posture of prayer is enough

As we pray at the dinner table, my youngest daughter, who doesn’t say any prayers yet, will hold her hands folded while we all listen to my oldest daughter lead the prayer (or my husband or I).  As my youngest folds her messy food-crusted hands and steals sly glances around the table at all of us with closed eyes, I know that this is enough and sometimes silence and listening and witnessing prayer is the hardest skill to learn.  When I’ve asked her if she wants to say a prayer and I prompt her with ”thank you Jesus, amen” or a great sign language prayer I taught her, she shakes her head shyly, ‘no’.  That’s OK, baby-boo.  Your witness is enough and your time will come when you will feel moved to let your spirit spill out into words, song, dance, art, writing or whatever other way you choose to connect to God.  You are enough.  And so are we all.

Our Father who art in Heaven

“Our Father who art in Heaven”.  This is the beginning line of my favorite prayer. The tradition of this prayer is to call on God in the male form.  In fact, for most of my life, I saw God as a male parent,  though I've also heard God refered to as male royalty and also of course  the voice in my head that I hear is the booming voice of James Earl Jones.  God the father weaves in and out of most of the prayers and liturgy that I participate in.  I know the argument for why we say ‘he’ by heart: either we use it to mean ‘he and she’ or just because it’s easier or because it’s an antiquated, beautiful language, dictated by God HIMself.  Of course there is also the also feminist argument that God is a woman - black woman, in fact.  And won’t the conservative evangelical preachers be surprised when they get to Heaven and see her.  My mom used to murmur, “Our fathermother who art in heaven” quietly to herself when we read the Lord’s prayer In church.  She was speaking from the feminist wave in the 70’s, and I am well-acquainted with the traditional feminist arguements about God as a woman.  My 90’s feminist womyn’s view tells me to view God through the lens of historical ancient goddess worship and other female-centric religions throughout history.  A male god subjugates the feminine earthspirit, etc. etc.

The thing is, even with all my knowledge and background, I see in my heart and in my head, God as a man.  A father-figure to pray to and to understand me.  Specifically, Michael Landon in Little House on the Prairie comes to mind.  Or did.

The following passage – which I have heard a thousand times – changed God's voice for me:

“In those days, Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan.  And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him.  And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased”

~Mark 1:9-11

Normally,  in the movie of the Bible in my head, this is the part where James Earl Jones says in his best Mustafa from Lion King voice, “this is my son”.  However, these are not the words of actions of a Lion King.  This is a Mama Bear.  In fact, "Mama Bear God" TORE open the heavens to point her dovey finger down and shout “THAT’S MY BOY!!!  THAT’S HIM!!”  and then she calls him “my beloved”.  That is what I call my daughters when I call them my baby-boo.  That’s what you call someone you want to snuggle, stroke their forehead and give neverending kissies to.  This exchange between God and God’s son is, among other things, a parent screaming ‘way to go, son!’.  As a woman and as a mother, I understand this.  Does that mean that God is a mother?  The feminist view was correct?  No.  I know Dads that are just as clamourous to claim their Baby-boos.  Dads that are tender and would tear open heavens to softly but insistently let everyone in the room know this is their special lovey-lamb.  It’s not the pat on the head, “you have obeyed, thank you little man, now go to bed” disciplinarian God-dad that traditionalists would have us believe.  True, God the father has already been touted and envisioned in liturgy and the Bible, but this is a different kind of parent.  A parent acting out of pure love and a child’s buouy in this sea of chaos.

Here’s what I think: This all is beyond gender.  Gender is a human-made designation. God is God.  God as the Holy Spirit is God as GOD on the Earth.  On the other hand, God as Jesus is God participating fully with the human experience as a human (or humyn, to give a nod to my feminist sisters).  Jesus was a man on the earth, not a woman, which always used to hang me up – why couldn’t he have been a woman?  Why couldn’t he have been married?  If you follow that through ot it’s logical extension though, why couldn’t Jesus have been gay and straight and abused and whole and shy and outgoing, etc, etc,  Jesus can’t be everything everyone has ever been and still have an authentically human experience.  I don’t have to cut my head and get stitches to actually feel the same pain that my daughter felt when she fell and hit her head – knowing exactly how to be calm in the way she needed while I was exploding with worry inside.  There are a thousand examples from a thousand parents, though I am not saying that a person has to be a parent to understand this empathy, because I also don’t have to go through a miscarriage to listen to a friend’s tormented experience and walk with them during that time – be there and and feel for them with my whole heart – my whole being .  However, AS a parent, Jesus’ commandment to love one another resonates with me.  It’s also not an unattainable goal because I have experienced this kind of love with my children.  However, my gentle challenge is to do this for the rest of the human race.  Others may feel differently: they give to the world’s people, but feel alienated from their own family, for example.   God made us all deliciously interesting and unique whackadoodles, whom God loves with a force in it’s purest form.  The point is what it always boils down to in the Bible and with what Jesus tells us: Love.  This is always the right answer.  I see no love in the Disciplinarian style parent-God who happens to be a man.  I do see love in the God that is the parent in me.  This is because God IS in me.  I am created in God’s image to love.  And so are you.

Martha's Work Is Never Done...

I get the story about Martha in the Bible.  Most women do.  She worksworksworks and tries to put on a good party for Jesus without any help from her sister. Having just put on a Thankgiving dinner for 14 relatives and friends, I know that It takes a lot of time and energy to put on a good gathering.  It’s not just the cooking.  There are countless other details people take for granted: making sure everyone has drinks, getting the appetizers out on time, making sure the kids have something to do or else they’ll start getting into trouble, and fending off the annoying phrase “can I help with anything?” from people who don’t want to do what you really need them to do, so you have to think of easy fun things for them to feel like they’re helping.   Basically staying ahead of everyone’s needs the entire time.  That is on top of cleaning, cooking, serving and maybe even eating yourself.  And you have to make sure everyghing happens at the right time.  If you don’t let people know when the meal is served, how will they know when to eat?  Oof!  5 o clock – time to lead a prayer so that people can dish up – and then encourage the first person to go through the buffet line or else everyone stands around, unsure of who should go first.  This is just a normal party – nothing Martha Stewart.  I’m sure Martha from the Bible wasn’t even trying to be like a Martha Stewart.  She was just trying to please others, show her love for them in the language that she knew – entertaining - and maybe even try to be a good disciple by facilitating a gathering for others to hear Jesus’ words.  Plus, Jesus did raise her brother, Lazarus from the dead.  She had to feel a little bit of obligation about that.  How do you repay that?  You should at least have them over for dinner – but you know that Jesus almost never comes alone.  He always had an entourage as and other hangers-on that stuck around to hear his words or touch his robe – and you know that THEY never RSVP’d. 

All this and then Mary abandons her at showtime.  She just sits and listens to Jesus’ words - rapt with attention.  It was not even a woman’s place to sit with the men and listen to what they had to say!  All of a sudden she was embracing some Greek philosophy and becoming like a man – her own sister!   When Martha came out of the kitchen to question Mary – I imagine Martha wiping her cracked, rough hands on her apron, cheeks flushed, probably smelling of smoke from the fire, eyes sort of glazed from stress and lazer focus on making this party a success, and if it was me – also nursing her own glass of wine in the kitchen to lamely try to join in the party without leaving her station.  When Martha tried to gain some support from Jesus, she did not get the answer she expected.  Mary has chosen what is better.  MARY.  She-who-has-not-helped.  What happened after that?  Did Martha throw up her hands and storm out?   Did she paste on a too-wide smile and say, “Yes Lord” or “You know best…”  and back out of the room?  And then talk behind his back?  As a feminist, I’ve always sided with Mary’s rebellious choice of sitting with the boys and broadening her mind and nurturing her relationship with the Savior.  However, as a Mom and a wife – in the life that I have made for myself in reality – I all-too-often fall into Martha’s role.  Not because I am in a feminine servitude, but because I actually love entertaining.  Like Mary, it is a language for me to demonstrate to people how much I love them.  The only problem is, people often don’t notice the traditional ‘women’s work’.  If I were a man, you can BET it would be noticed – all the attention to detail, etc. but since I am a woman, it is just expected.  All the invisible work that women do and never get credit for – it is a very very old story.  However, I am not going to go into all that martyrdom.  There was only one martyr.  I am doing the work I do by choice.  But why do I choose it? And how can I speak this language of love and have people hear it?   And not go crazy?

I think that Jesus was not telling Martha to get back in the kitchen or ‘you chose wrong - and I am under the impression that the apps are serving themselves.  I think he was telling her not to forget to be present in the moments that are important.  Don’t to be a slave to yourself because a slave does not get to hang back and enjoy the (sometimes awesome) party that she created.  This hits home as a parent, and also as a volunteer with children’s programs in my church.  I help plan out & put on events for families, teach the kiddos about God through carefully thought-out crafts, songs, etc.  but then my own children have to entertain themselves while I work for others’ children and, honestly, for recognition by other adults that I did a good job.  Did Martha feel any of that?  Wanting recognition?  Because if so, I’m sure she learned that even when you get the recognition, it’s never enough.  Especially when you, yourself are not on board.  But having to teach Sunday school, volunteer to lead church activities AND keep a meaningful connection with your children during all that is sometimes too much to accomplish.  It’s some kind of myth that you can do it all that leads automatically to the guilt that women are all too good at.  It’s enough to make you cry into your casserole. 

How do you strike a balance and not be offended when Jesus says, “enough with the percolator already – come out of the kitchen and be present without checking the clock for the next event.  I am here.  With you.  Right now.  I will not be here forever.  Be here with me in this moment that is a gift to both of us.”  Now, you know where this goes.  This line of thinking usually leads you down that path of guilt about how your kids won’t be kids forever and you’ll look back all too soon and realize that they’ve grown up – blablabla and more crying into your jello mould.  That’s all true, but what can we do about it in real life?   Advice books suggest you treasure every moment – and that is worse than the Martha Stewart line of thinking - that you need to make everything from scratch and prepare every detail.  We all know that behind the scenes. Martha (Stewart) really delegates jobs to her staff.  If we followed her example and delegated to  all the people standing around like the disciples were that day, we would have more time to be present in the relationships that are really at the core of this get-together in the first place. 

Here’s the other dirty secret about Martha (or so I am completely assuming about her, based on my own self).  She is keeping busy so that she doesn’t have to fully participate and come up short in a relationship that is not as “easy”.  Keeping busy with laundry and housework and planning get togethers and volunteering at church is way, way, way, way, way more easy than loving someone.  Especially someone that is hard to love.  Being a mom is the most important job that I am doing and I love my kids so much that I feel my heart burst and enlarge daily, yet I fall short of my own expectations and then beat myself up about it.  Not only that, I when I do my job right, they’ll need me less every day.  It is easier to mire myself in the extraneous event planning and volunteer work than participate in a ”losing” battle.  In a way, Jesus was a losing battle too – and maybe Martha somehow understood that.  Maybe she was nervous about the political response to his miracles, or heard rumors from his enemies.  Who knows.  But Jesus “lost” to go on to something greater – something that no one could anticipate or fully understand.  It is also impossible to anticipate or fully understand the fate of your children as well – how your parenting will affect them – will they be in therapy (probably) or will they go to college (also a high probability).  I am constantly surprised that God chose me to raise kids.  How could God trust me with something that important?  If I fail…well failure is just not an option.  And yet it is sort of inevitable because life is not perfect.  Participating in the business of being busy gives me an excuse to not participate in participating in a relationship that can never be the perfect picture I wish for.  However, if Martha could trust and take a step into unknown territory by loving a losing battle and trusting being revealed imperfect in her most important priorities, she will see that it is freeing to love and be present in the moment.  There are countless gifts I have received from my children, from myself, from God by participating in this “losing” relationship.  Rocking my very sick child when no one else can console her,  being one of their unquestionably safe people to trust in life, being able to nourish them with my own body and learning that some of my personal sacrifices for them can actually be a joyful act instead of an act of self-deprivation.  It is an ongoing battle to believe in myself as a parent, but if I don’t, who else will?  Jesus.  But I need to get on board too

My baby has woken up, so I guess my time for writing is at an end.  I don’t know when I will get to write again, but her smile as she wakes up and looks at me is irresistible.  My older daughter has rested her head on the upper part of my arm and has stopped trying to make my fingers type weird letters.   The warmth from her cozy head is life-giving to my cracked and dry soul, as is the baby’s unbridled smile with teething drool and here-and-there tooth terrain.  I think about the need to be present to the moments that God gives -  I am called to be present with others as well as to serve and be busy and participate in adult life. However – others need the chance to serve too.  Even your children need a chance and the way that children serve is by loving-  and loving unconditionally.  So put on a CD and dance with your kid.  Or your husband or your sister.  Smell them (yes, breathe in their scent and ignore the cue for a diaper change).  Be aware of how it feels to hug them.  Because Jesus is in every one of us and to take a moment to really be present with any one of God’s people is to be in the presence of God.  You don’t have to orchestrate anything or spend a long time, but stealing a moment when it presents itself is a start.